Ndani TV’s “Ratings” Recap: Season 1, Episode 3, “The Counsellor”

FJ has practised almost every profession and it makes us question his reliability. 

—Spoiler Alert for Ratings—

Firstly, I need to mention that the episodes are getting shorter and funnier!!! Yes, we pay close attention, Ndani.

In this third episode, titled, “The Counsellor”, FJ, our favourite taxi ride-hailing driver claims to have been a counsellor before which means someone you can share your problems with for a solution. Whether he’s truthful or just lying to get information from his newest passenger, Lola (Pelumi Shittu), who is in a pitiable mood. In the hope that she shares her problems with him, he offers to play music, which she declines, then offers to help out with her problem.

This might be the episode with the most dialogue and MC Lively is nailing the driver-like mannerisms as episodes go by. 

After convincing her that he can help her out based on his counselling experience, the passenger tells him that she has a friend who has problems with her boyfriend. This friend found earrings under her boyfriend’s bed, but the boyfriend claims that they belong to his sister, which the sister also confirmed. 

Although at this point, viewers would wonder why her friend’s troubles have weighed her down this much. It didn’t look normal and I almost took it as over-acting, until the final moments of the episode.

As she goes deeper into her friend’s ‘man’ problems, FJ takes her side and advises the passenger to tell her friend to ‘japa’ (flee) and leave her boyfriend because men can not be trusted. He also proceeds to apologize on men’s behalf. 

Oh boy, FJ too talk ooo. Which one be “if the boyfriend is in Lagos, your friend should run to Abuja, cos he is a big fat liar” 😂

As mentioned earlier, MC Lively is growing into the role and is starting to nail mannerisms such as a driver constantly looking over his shoulder to spy on the passenger behind. Also, drivers getting into your business and trying not to be all up in your business all at the same time. There’s this way they put their nose up there, but at the same time they hope they don’t smell shit. They just want to get involved briefly and get their five stars. MC Lively is just killing this role, which makes it funnier because we have all been there with such drivers.

This car trip is filled with “all men are scum” chit-chat and FJ shares a story of how he did something similar with two ladies when he was “in the world in the yesteryears”. In his case, he claimed the necklace was for his cousin, which he coordinated with his cousin and subsequently nabbed a playboy certification. However, the passenger tells FJ that she personally believes the “earrings belong to my sister” story, but her friend does not. Still, FJ with his own ‘yesteryears’ story disputes and urges the dispirited passenger to tell her friend not to believe her man and to break up.

Now we’re at the destination, the ‘friend’ is actually the passenger and FJ has just driven her to her boyfriend’s place. This explains the extreme moody countenance which seemed to be too much for just a ‘friend’ in the earlier car scene. The passenger breaks up with her boyfriend right there in public and tells him she was advised by the driver (FJ) to do so. At this moment, FJ is asking for his own money and is shocked at the true state of things.  

The passenger walks away, saying FJ would get his money from the ‘person’ that ordered the ride, which is the heartbroken boyfriend (James Jibunma), who is asking FJ why he didn’t heed to the Bro code. 

FJ has broken the bro code. As a result, he’s not getting paid…again! As the boyfriend leaves to enter his compound, FJ pleads for the 7,000 naira fare, which the boyfriend pays attention to. As a last resort,  FJ begs that he would settle for 5 star ratings which shows how desperate he has become, things have not been great lately.

One positive episode for my FJ abeg. Cynthia (FJ’s sister) must eat. New semester go soon start.

This episode was written by Bode Asinyanbi and directed by Adekunle Bryan Oyetunde.

Ratings: A-

Side musings:

• ” Ah brother Bayo” 😭😂 MC Lively delivering his lines like a true dispatcher.
• This episode didn’t even hit the 7 minute mark. I love eet!
• Counsellors are mostly secondary school therapists though right??? The ones that advise you to ditch arts class for science class. 
• In the first episode, food (mouth) put him in trouble. It ended in “I no wan chop the rice. I dey my own jeje.”
• In the second episode, false information (ears) put him in trouble. It ended in “what did I do wrong now?”
• This third episode, words of his mouth put him in trouble. It ended in “Who send me?”
• On that note, he should just control his sense organs. He might just get paid. Lol. He might have a happy ending if he learns to keep shut. 😂
• I’m starting to notice a structure in the episodes. There’s an introduction, a buildup, and a twist which causes FJ’s lamentations. I thought the twist would be his sister Cynthia being the ‘friend’ since she was introduced last week and it would have been less satisfying.
• The first episode might be the weakest so far for me despite being a decent one. 
• But it’s crazy though, FJ suppose show the boyfriend small craze. Shey na him send am say mak e go cheat ni. Lol. Abi wetin concern FJ. pay my FJ ooo. FJ gave an advice every decent human should. 
• Expanding on my driver mannerism talk: Cases when drivers try to get into your business by poking around the bushes, hoping you divulge information, then step back when you start talking only to poke around again when they see the words are drying up. Almost like this public tap that people have to manually pump for water. The more you pump, the more water you get. The moment you stop, then it reduces. The passenger is the tap-pump, obviously.
• Last week, I completed Ramy, a Hulu series by Ramy Youssef, and FJ’s chronicles reminds me of Ramy’s mum. She is a New Jersey based American-Egyptian housewife who turned to Lyft driving when she got bored with the housewife routine in her New Jersey home. I recommend Ramy just for this reason. The Lyft episodes are hilarious.